Right Here Right Now

A few months have passed since my last blog entry a New Year a New You. Interestingly, I had an article published in a local newspaper with the same title. I have just read over last years entries which, for those of you who are bloggers or write a journal, may understand the feelings attached to reading over your past - not a bad thing, but very interesting and sometimes quite bizarre.

It is good to reflect over your past, however, it is not a good thing to spend too long thinking or talking about the past ; this will only keep you stuck, re-traumatise you, or prevent you from moving on, enjoying or experiencing the here and now.

Many of us spend too much time in our heads and not enough time in our bodies, which prevents us from connecting with the 5 senses we are normally born with and prevents us from connecting with the HERE and NOW. The same can be said of thinking about or wondering about the future. This will only bring about anxiety and panic attacks, as the future is never going to arrive!

It is only the here and now that we can experience and manage and the here and now is the only reality that truly exists. If you stay in your head for too long, you will lose the reality that truly exists. I hope that you can spend more time in your bodies and listen to your hearts, your gut instincts and most of all connect with your 5 senses. If you can see it, feel it, hear it, smell it, taste it, it is REAL, if you can not, then it does not exist: It is purely a fantasy, it is all in your head!

I hope you enjoy the here and now more often than not.

Enjoy!

New Year New You

Another new year is upon us which can only equate to change! With every new year change happens beginning with the smallest detail from changing a calender or diary, to changing home, career or relationship. However, change is a funny old word. Most people 'run like billyo' when they think, hear or read about change. The simple fact is this; change is inevitable. It can also be overwhelming and stressful at times; however, if we resist change we are in danger of becoming stuck!

Change need not be anything other than a natural process of maturation, wisdom and personal development.

The Secret to lasting change = Focus on a goal.

1. Decide what you want.
2. Take Action.
3. Notice what is working or not.
4. Change your approach until you receive what you want.

Remember, you set the rules for yourself!
Be the author of your own life.
Know your limitations.
Be positive about what you are capable of.
Be creative - A creative person is motivated by the desire to achieve, not the desire to beat others.
Be brave - do the things you THINK you can not do, small steps at a time.

Focus
Never lose focus: focus has a massive impact on our goals, beliefs and achievements. What we choose to focus on impacts on our beliefs and aspirations.

Indestructible Self Belief
Great self believers have the edge. They carry with them a formidable advantage over the average person. Never lose sight of your goals, remain focused and believe in yourself.

And finally.....Take responsibility for all of your choices and actions. It is extremely liberating and is the gateway to lasting success.There is no such thing as a mistake.

'Success truly is the result of good judgement. Good judgement is the result of experience. Experience is often the result of bad judgement'.

Here's wishing you greater success and lasting change in this new year.

Joy

Contemplation

Dear Reader

Whenever life seems to be for or against you, the best form of action I would consider and advise from one human being to another, is to take a little time out alone in a solitary and peaceful space to contemplate the choices that took you to where you are today and whether or not the choices were conscious or unconscious.

Our choices are our responsibility and ultimately are the vehicles which transport you into your current situations. If whatever you do you then say to yourself " and I take full responsibility for that", then you are on the road to recovery and can then make a conscious choice to take you in the direction you wish to take either to continue in the same direction or change your direction completely.

I believe any choice we make is a learning curve and can only help you on your journey of self discovery. I believe that self discovery is the most fascinating and exciting journey we take during our life time and can only be considered the most satisfying. As long as we consider our next choices with a raised awareness then this can only be deemed as positive for all concerned.

Onwards and upwards.

Take care.

Taking Responsibility For Our Thoughts

Hi

Are you aware of how your thoughts create your world?

What percentage of your daily thoughts are negative?

Did you know we have around 90,000 thoughts a day and that 60,000 of them are repeats !!

How often do you tell yourself negative things about yourself?

How often do you think positively?

Above are some questions we all need to ponder no less, if our thoughts are mostly repeats and they are mostly negative, then we have got some real work to do!

Here are some quotes to help shift your thoughts from a negative position to one of positivity.

Quotes to help inspire us all.....

" The man who does things makes many mistakes, but he never makes the biggest mistake of all - doing nothing" Benjamin Franklin

"Every time we act, even with our fear, we make room for others to do the same. Courage is contagious." Frances Moore Lappe and Jeffrey Perkins

" I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free" Michelangelo

" If you have made a genuine mistake or upset someone without realising, don't feel guilty. You did your best. Now enjoy this life". Art Hister

I hope you enjoyed these quotes. If you have any favourites of your own, please send them to me.

If you feel you would benefit from some positive coaching click on the link below.

Heres wishing you all an abundance of positivity.

BFN x

Living the high life....is a must do !

I love my home town of Whitstable and I love the fact that it was a conscious choice of mine to move here some 4 years ago now (I moved from the Medway Towns; a place where I was born and bred) . Not only is Whitstable recognised as a great place to live and work by the media such as The Times, but more importantly, it is recognised as a great place to live by its residents, who mostly take great pride in maintaining its charm and peace loving existence: there is no place called Perfection, but we do our best to make it quite ideal!

The shops of Whitstable are mainly independent traders with their own unique styles, the restaurants are also great value, especially in relation to the quality of the menu and service. Another bonus living here is that the air is clean and fresh, thanks of course to the North Sea.

How many of us consciously choose to live in a place that will provide us with the lifestyle and surroundings that suit our own character and physical needs? Once I mastered the art of making conscious decisions, it seems fairly easy now to ensure that I take responsibility for my choices and ensure that I choose according to my values and beliefs...which are fluid, but none the less, are essentially for the greater good.

I hope that you the reader are able to choose your life consciously, because without us realising it, if we don't our unconscious is driving us into the future. 90% of our actions are driven by our unconscious if we do not think before we act. How scary is that! That is just like getting into a car as the driver and arriving at the destination without knowing how !!! This seems a fairly dangerous way of travelling on any journey, and let us not forget that we need to ensure, when travelling, that the safety of ourselves and those around us are always considered as top priority.

I wish you bundles of positivity and fun whilst making your conscious choices and above all, I hope you ensure you know what it is you want out of life and where you want to live it.

If you need some guidance on how to achieve all of the above, click on my website for further details. BFN

Celebrating Life

How do you celebrate your birthday?

Well, for as many years that I have been responsible, I have ensured that I celebrate my birthday as best I possibly can. Why not? All to often people dread the process of ageing. My reponse to that...'get over yourself'. I can not understand this dread, because to me, a birthday is a celebration about our ongoing life. We are born, we live, we choose how to live the life we have been given and then eventually we 'pop our clogs'. Or for those of us who do not sign up to not discussing the taboos of life, we die....and yes, we die alone! So, with this fact in mind, I make damn sure that I celebrate my life and the successful continuation of my life, surrounded by as many family and friends that can make it.

How do I celebrate my birthday? I have a party...in my opinion partying is the best and only way to celebrate the ageing process. I have people round to my house or a venue depending on the ageing milestone - 40 came and went with the help of another party. I loved my 30th birthday party, which I had in a nightclub, that was fantastic - my head was sore the following day, but what the heck, I was young!

To thank people for their efforts for either travelling far and wide to want to share this special occasion with me, we provide champagne and some really good food. Then follows some music, which, traditionally, I turn up quite loud and end up dancing wherever I can. I absolutely love music and having fun moving to it. I don't care how I look either. There is nothing more grounding than having a boogie in the garden with your children, friends and family. Every year without fail, my friend Maxine and I try and convince the youth of today that the 'Bump' is a new dance that is going around!!! The neighbours do not complain...maybe they hear everyone singing the age old traditional "Happy Birthday" song to me and recognise the glow of candles through the windows, and as I age, the glow gets brighter. Alternatively, they may mark it on the calender and take off for a weekend break somewhere quiet! Smart move :-)

So one and all, I strongly recommend a positive outlook on the ageing process and that a PARTY is a positive outlook (why should kids have all the fun). I would like to inform you all that yesterday (Saturday 12th May) I had a party to celebrate my 42nd birthday, which is on the 15th. Yes, I had a fantastic time, drunk in excess, but not in anyway that would make me ill the following day, I danced most of the night. I was also pulling odd faces and yet having the insight and normality to be able to laugh at myself when being shown the photographic evidence !

I had a wonderful time and today had a telephone call from my daughter and son, who both said how much fun they had too. I make sure that I have a good time, just in case I can't make the next birthday bash the following year! One never knows! So, I pull out all the stops to ensure I do, so here's looking forward to my next years birthday bash. Thanks to my brother Guy for travelling down from Rugby and a big thanks for all my friends and family from Medway. Thanks also, to my friend Jon, who traditionally apologises the following day!! Why apologise Jon, apologies are not necessary, especially when you made us all laugh...his party tricks are harmless to those who do not take life to seriously and above all, he is a real scream and long may he be my party mascot!

Happy Birthday was a song written purely for that reason. To be 'Happy' about your Birthday, so long shall I continue to do just that and continue with my 'party animal' philosophy.

An Unexpected Call

Hello one and all

This morning I was greeted by an expected telephone call from some dear friends Mark and Emma who live in Grantham...hi guys.

They called to ask if they could visit us on the next bank holiday weekend and spend some time with us here on the beautiful south coast and wonderful town of Whitstable. "Of course", was my response. "How lovely it will be to see you again", and it will be. I love entertaining friends and family and I thoroughly enjoy the company of those I love.

Now, when we consider the things we take for granted, the art of communication is one of the most fundamental gifts we have as humans. An unexpected call from close friends, the ability to hear their voices and the ability to reply to them, telling them that I would love to see them again and enjoy their company, is an uplifting and positive experience to lift you out of your bed on a Saturday morning. I am currently experiencing a mild bout of food poisoning (a dodgy mussel is my prime suspect), it is made all the more unpleasant that it is while my partner Ian is climbing the three peaks with a friend. He successfully scaled the heights of Ben Nevis yesterday, well done that man :-) I am able to remain hopeful during this illness, that it will soon pass and low and behold I receive an unexpected call which lifted my spirits no end.

During this irritating illness, I have had the time, the gift and ability to read some good books and listen to some music, to provide myself some pleasure during the pain of illness! One of the books I am reading is from the top UK Life Coach Fiona Harrold - The 10 Minute Life Coach. She informs her readers of this amazing fact ' If we live to the age of 70 we have 840 months available to us'. At the age of 41 I have taken up 492 of the 840 months, which leaves me 348 months available to me. Now, if we take a third of this time off for sleeping, I have 232 months available to me to actually live my life as I consciously choose - this is of course if I only live to the age of 70. I am planning to live much longer, but this sum was just to put you in the picture.

I have to say, having read this fact from Fiona Harrold, the pleasure I was able to experience far outreached the pain of my temporary illness and I am now feeling on top of the world with absolutely no need or effort involved in climbing any mountains - how marvelous. I am now really looking forward to May bank holiday weekend and spending some of my time left available to me with my dear friends Mark, Emma and their beautiful daughter TJ (who loves my cat Socrates) along with my family who are going to join us in the celebrations of meeting up again.

This blog entry is dedicated to all of my friends and family, and to unexpected calls. It is good to talk so.... Go on, give them a call and tell them something positive.

I consciously choose Positivity.

LOL Joy X